JOEY: MY EPIC HARY POTTER FANFIC
by JOEY2004
Summary: romance. action. deth. revenge. This is me at hogwarts with Harry potter. THIS IS THE EPIC TALE OF JOEY. be nice plese i am only 11 and this is my first stury! Based on tru events.
1. Chapter 1

helo my name is Joey and I'am 11 yers old and ths is my EPIC HARRY POTTR FANFIC.

BE NICE 2 ME IN THE REVEIWS! my Dad says i have serius issus so I cant hellp if u think my stury is bad.

cahpter 1

SO I was walking along down msy stret by myself after shool. yesterday was a bad day. I got F's on all my tests and hoework and the skool bully Richurd and his gang bullied me after skool. I got home and my dad sees my grades and he said "JOEY YOU ARE A FALURE YU ARE WORTHLESS TO ME" and he hit me and sent me to my room without diner.

i layed dwn on my bed and started crieing into my pollow. Then I rememberd it was my 11th birthdasy today and I cried some more beacuse i new my Dad would foget. Sudenly he burst down my dore and I started screaming.

"JOEY DO U NOW WHAT DAY IT IS,!" he yeled. "yes" i said afraidly. I alredy new what he was about to say.

"IT IS THE ANVERSARY OF YUR MOM'S DETH! AND U KILLED HER BECAUSE UR HEAD WAS TO BIG AND IT BROKE HE VAGIA AN SHE BLED EVERYWERE AND DIED." dad yelled. "UR A STUPID CUNT JOEY AND I WISH YOU WERE NEVER BORN!" then He slabed me accross the face hard. "OH YEAH AND I HADS TO PAY THE HOSPITL BILLS AND NOW WERE BROKE SO FUCK U!" Dad said before he ledft.

I creid again. My face hert really badly. The only thing i had now was my Harry potter book and jesus. i go to chuch every day becaus my dad forces me too but maybe that precher guy was right and god relly loves me. I prayed to jesus. "pleas let me be just like harry potter," I said.

I waited a long time. nuthing happened. I cried some mroe and went to sleep. Sudernly I had an idea.

"Please satan let me be just liek harry potter." I said. Then SATAN appeared in front of me!

"I can send you to Hary Potters house but you needs to give me a sul!" satan said. I new what to do.

"ok satani'll be right back," I said. Then I went downstars. My Dad was waiting for me.

"JOEY YOU WURTHLESS SON OF A BITCH! I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN UR ROOM YOU FUckiNG RETARD FAGUT!" Then he tackled me to the ground. I started screeming. Then I got really mad. "GO TO HELL YOU BASTARD!" I yeled at dad.

Dad went silent. "what the FUCK did you just say!" He SCREAMED. Then he punched me straigt in the face and I could fell my nose broke. I bled everywheere and cried. I didnt think it could get any worse but then my dad started to rap me! It relly hurt and my butt tore open and everything. The worst part was it wosn't the first time Dad had rapped me.

Sudenly Satan came downstars and he shot Dad with a firey laser! Dad's entire face metled of but he didnt die. I saw it and It was my chance. I grabbed a nife and stabed dad in the heart and chest a milion times and there was blud everywhere and then he took his last breth and died. I finally got my revenge. The couch was staned red though.

satan looked at Dad's ded body. Then he pulled his soul out. "Ok a deal is a deal," Satan sad.

Then sudenly... I WAS ON PRIVT DRIVE!

You better have likd my stury! ANyway i will update tommorow I promise.

JOEY


	2. Chapter 2

Hey its Joey again an i wrote some more of my awsom stury. YOU BETER LIKE IT! I WORKED REAL HARD ON THIS ASLO IM ONLY 11.

Chaoter 2

I was standling on the side of the rad next too teh Dursleys house when sudenly Harry Potter walked outside! he was going to get the milk or somthing. (who has a mikman anyway?)

"harry potter!" I yelled. "Teach me your wisard tricks pleas!"

Harry potter looked at me confusedly. "Im not a wisard! Where the hell did u get that idea?"

"No youre a wisard and Ur gonna get a letter to this place called Hogwarts and also Hagrid is gonna come and stuff," I told him. "It says so in this book I hav, it tells your story!" I showed him my harry potter book.

"Whoa so this is my futrue and stuff?" Harry was amased.

"Yea and there's more of it! I have 7 whole books about u but i've only red 2," I said. Then sudenly I looked behind harry and Ant Petunya was there!

"HARRY WHAT IS TAKING U SO LONG! DUDLEY IS GETTING AROUSD WITHUT HIS MILK!" she screeced. She made me rely mad but i din't now why.

"Coming ant Petunya," Harry sid defeatedly. I was shoked. How dare that bitch be so maen to him! It was just like how my dad was to me! I cudn't contain my rage any moor. I ram up and punched Petunya in the face.

She screatmed and held her face in her hands. There was blod leeking out form in between her fingers. She called Dudley out. Then I saw him and i screamed.

dudley was fat and ugly and he had blond hair just like richurd the skool bully! And he was naked! He had his ding dong in his hand and was smaking it.

"HOW DARE U HURT MY DARING MOTHER PETUNYA! I WILL RAP HARRY IF YOU DOn'T LEAVE!" Dudley said.

I was realy scared and I couldnt think strayt. Sudenly I found my nife. It still had blood on it from one i atacked my Dad. I threw it at dudley as hard as I could.

Sudenly dudley made a nois like a cat having its guts ripped out. I looked at him. My nife had gone thourgh his hand and hit him strayght in the ding dong! It was bleeding everywhere. I screemed.

"OMG dudley are u ok! I can call an ambulance!" I ran over to hary. I was so scared. I didn't want to go to jale!

Then sudenly Dudley's ding dong fell off entirely! He saw it lying there and puked and fainted. i picked it up and tried to reatach it, but then I saw Petunya atack Harry out of the corner of my eye. her face and hands was entirely red now from all the bleeding. I new what she was trying to do. She had a shotgun in her hand now and she loaded it. Harry screamed.

I threw dudley's severd ding dong at Ant Petunya. She screamed and lost her footing. Then I jumped on her and stabed her multiple times with my nife. She fell down on top of Dudley and both of them died.

Harry stoped screaming then and he thanked me for saving him. We went inside to get popsicls.

I WORKED extra hard this time so the next chapers will be longser than the last 2! U guys stay tuned for chapter 3!

JOEY


	3. Chapter 3

OK guys her it is! I will be posting thsee 1ce per day prubably.

Chapter 3

It had ben a week sence we defeted Dudley and Petunya. Unkle Vernon hadnt noticed yet becayse he was fat and stupd just like dudley and the skool bully Richurd. Unkle Vernon was so stupid and I guess he needed glases or something becaus he thught me and harry were Dudley. We had been geting spceial treatment like Dudley had gotten.

Anyway we were sitting on the porcch waiting for the mail. Sense Unkle Vernon thinks we are both Dudley, we can basicly do whatever we want like skip skool and stuff. We plaied hockey today. Harry said he was hvaing the best time in his lyfe and we were both rely glad that dudley was gone.

Sudenly I remembered what day it was. "Harry this is the day u get your hogwarts lettr!" I said exitedly. I was really happy for him. Then I relized that i wouldn't be geting one and I was sad.

"What's wrong joey?" Harry said.

"i'm sad I wont get to go to skool with you. I will have to go home to my Unkle larry soon because my dad is ded." I told him.

"Its ok! My dad is ded to!" Harry said happily. That chered me up.

All day we waited and watchesd for an owl to apper. But nuthing happened! Harry was confused.

"Did u get the date wrong joey?" he said. I didn't know. Then sudenly... the queen of england appeard! She was carrying two letters! I was shoked. Harry was suprised to.

"Oh my god its the queen of England!" I yelled. "Can i get your autograph?" I asked.

The Qeen of England nodded and sudenly a wad of paper and a pend apearred out of nowhere in her hands! "I am also a witch." she said. "That's why i came to give you 2 your hogwarts letters." Then she gabe me and Harry her autograph.

"Thank you queen of England!" Me and harry both said.

"U are verry welcome" she said. Then she poofed away like how books do on Neopets after u read them.

"Wow!" Harry said. "That was AWSOME!"

"lets open our leters now!" Then we opened them. They said that we had been acccepted into Hogwarts skool of magic and yadda yadda yadda. We high fived. Then we went inside to show Unkle Vernon.

"IN UR FACE, YOU FAT OAF!" Harry yelled, waving the lettr in fromt of Unkle Vernon's face. We also shwwed him the Queen of England's atuographs.

"Whatvever you say, dudleys" Unkle vernon mumbled stupidly. I stifled a laugh at him.

Sudenly there was a nock on the door. "Dudleys can u get that? I am too fat to get out of my chair." Unkle Vernom said.

I went to open it. It was Hagrid! He looked at me and harry. "Good, yu already have your letters. I new i could trust the queen of England. By the way u'll be seing her alot at Hogwarsts."

"oh yes, hogwarts! Its That fancy skool we were gonna send Dudley too, I think," Unkle Vernom interupted stupidy. "Hav fun at Hoegwarts, dudleys.!" Then he went back to loking at the news paper.

"Come with me you 2," Hargrd saad. Then me and hary went with him and we started flying to London on Hagrid's motorcycl.

TO BE CONTINUED! I now there wasnt much actuon this time but there will be more soon i promise. anyway chapter 4 is comig out tomorow as usual.

JOEY


	4. Chapter 4

OK so i now I said that i was gona Post chapeter 4 like 2 weks ago but I spent alot of time osn this. Also I have skool and my stuopid basturd Dad grounded me adn made me do homework. anyway this chaptar has a lot of actuin and stuff and I'm relly proud of it so you guys bettr LIke it!

Chatper 4 PART 1!

we flew for a long time. We were going so fast thast we couldnt see anythung aroumnd us clearly. Sudenly harry scramed and Hsagrid stoped the car. We were being surounded by ninjas! We troed to fihgt them of but they were too storng. Then I realozed that they were'nt ninjas. They were those creepy people in pointy hats and masks that madse them kimd of look like scream! (u now, the ones from the 4th hary potter movie.) They shot at us woth their wands. I new what I had to do.

I jumpd out of the moving car and tackled one off the creepy huys. he yelled out and thhe other guys tried to tackle me but I managed to jump of off him in time. So now there was a pile osf ccreepy guys on the road. They looked like fotball players.

i jumped back in the moving motorcycle and we flwe away. But we were still being chased. More guys had apeared from behind as backup! Me and Harry threm nifes at them. Hargid just kept goifing. The guys got stabed and blood got everywere and I herd 6 of them start screatming bloody mureder. A bunch of them fell of their borms and one guy lost all of his limbs and another guy had a ton off blod poring out of his chest. But then they startedd to cach up to us! 1 off tje guys touchsed the back of the mortorcycle car with his wand and sudenly... it broke of!

Me and harry plumeted towards the ground screnming. The creepy guys ignorsed hagrid then and started shooting spells at us. I new I was probably going to die. Hary passed out from the terrur. I new there was only 1 person who could help me now.

Sudenly a gint robot came out of nowheres and punched some of the creapy guys away. It looked kind of like optimus prime but with Bumblebe's paint hjob except it wasnn't a transformer. It was being controled by a short guy with blond hair.

The robot shot out its arm and fierd a laser. All of the guys droped ded. Then it grabed the mrorcycle car out fo the air and smashde it back onto the motrcycl. I looked in the cock put. IT WAS JOHHNY TEST!

SUSPENSUFUL RIGHT? anyay I will piost PART 2 tomorow fo shor.

JOEY


	5. Chapter 6

Ok here is Chapter 4 part 2 and i also hav a spesul message 4 u guys today!

I want to say thx to Epic Story and NotaMuggel for the nice words in the revews. As for thouse stupid nubs who keep teling me not to post just becuas Im 11, go to h-e-l-k! I'm almost 12 OK! Nobody cars how old u are on the internset anyway! AND BY THE WAY LADLEYWORM MY BROTHR HELPED ME WHEN I MAD MY ACOUNT BUT HE DIDNT HELP ME WITH THE STORY (SEE I SPELED THAT RIGHT ARE YPU HAPPY NOW?)! I TLD U GUYS I HAVE SERIOUS ISSUES I CAN"T HELP IF U THINK THE STORY IS BAD! IF YOU WANT TO HATE ON MY AWSoME STROY TAKE IT uP WITH MY BEST FRIEND WILIAM KANEL AND HELL TELL YOU HOW GOD IT IS OK!

CHAPTER 5 PART 2!

We were at Hoagwarts know. Johnny test had carriesd us there with his giant robut becase the creepy guys made us mis the Train. It turned out that he was a wiserd too! i was relly happy because it was turing out that all my favurite peopl were wisthes and wisards. Hary was happy too because he also wathed Johnny Test when it was on. We ware all in the big hall eating Mcdonalds. That stupid rich kid Mafory made fun of us so i punced himin the face and he bled and he cryed. He aslo reminded me of Richurd the skool bully so I punced him again. I startd talkin to Jhonny Test after that.

"is that how ur sisters can make such cool inventons? Theyre witches?" I asked Jonny. He nodded. he also gave me a kool ninha sword with 100090000 funcstions as a gift. We were firends now.

Sudenly Dumbledor appered! He stod on the stage and said "welcom 2 Hogwarst guyz." and othr stuf/. Then it was time for the Sorting Seremony. I was realy exited. Hary was 2. He brought out dis maigic hat that locked older than my Grand ma and started callung up names.

"Johnny Alferdo Test," the hat sad. (i made his Middle name Alfredo becaus thats my favrite kind of pasta.) Johnny went up ontu the stage. "GRIFFINDOR!" it yelled. Johny went over onto the griffindor table. everyboduy started claping but Johnnys' sisters over at the Hufflpuf table looked real disapointed.

The Sorting Seremoney went on 4 a wile. then it was Hary's turn.

"GRIFFENDOOR! the hat yelled out. I started clapping. everybody started chering. Some peple even threw flowrs and launced fireworks and stuff. I cloned my sord and gave it to Harry as a present.

Youre the only one left Joey! Hary sadi as he left to go sit next 2 Jonny test. "Good luck ok?"

i was frosen with anticpation. The hat began.

"NExt up is... RICHURD!" It yelled. I screamed.

Richurd the skool bullly and his gang appered from the crowd and got up on the stafe! He saw me and laghed. "Haha joey, u don't hav any magikal talent! You probably bribed osmebody to let you go her!"

I wwas about to throw my sword at him when the hat called out, "SLIThERN!" I wasnt surpirised at all. Richurd went to the table. Sudenly the supid rich kid Malfouy stated making out wiuth RICHURD! THEY WERE GAY! I had to stup them or well all go to hell (my Dad sed so.)

I stabbed mafoy with my Nija sword. He screeched lik a goat in labur. I was abut to atackk Richurd to when sudenly... he dissapeard!

"I'LL GET U FOR THIS JOEY!" he yeled. Then he disapearded. Mafory and Richurds gang was still here so i caled Harry and he tied them up.

"Joey for ur aromantic act of bravry I here by palce you in all four Houses at once escept for Sliterkn cause the Sliteheruns are faguts." THE SORTING HAT YELLED. everyone cheered even louder than they did wen Harry got sotred. I went down to sit at the Griffindur table with JOhnny and Harry Ptter. We all celibrated hapily. Dumblre gave me a special certification and everythin. Then we all feasted on rich people fuod excet for those stuppid cunt Sligtherins who had 2 eat McDOnalds for the rst of their lives. A bunch of them even gut hart attacks and we all laugted at them. It was the best nigt of my lyfe.

Sudenly the grund started shaking and all the windows in tha GRET HALL broke into a millon peces! It was an eathquoke! A bunch of those crepy guys flew thurough the window. The limbles guy was there too and he was leaving a blod trail wjerever he went! He had come to get revange on me!

Anyway for thos of you who LIKED my story, chapter 6 coms out tomrow! TO BE CONTINUED!

JOEY


	6. Chapter 7

So ive been reading alot of other ppl's fanfiction lately and It seems like that Malfoy is supposed to be a guod guy or something so he's in griffindor with me, Harry and Jhonny now. Oh yea and aslo hes strayt. He was just pretending 2 be gay becaus othderwise Richurd would have kiled him. Oh yeah and Wiliam wrote part of this chapter for me so I could post it today! Thx William!

Chapter 6- William's Half

I grabbed a chair and threw it as hard as I could at the limbless guy, but it missed. He and the other Death Eaters kept flying overhead and his blood squirted from his limb stumps. It was getting all over the floor and staining everything it touched. I scaled a wall and jumped off of it when I reached the top, landing on one of the creepy guy's broomsticks. I pushed him off and he went straight through one of the windows screaming at the tops of his lungs and fell on the ground outside. The glass shards cut him up and they went flying into the other Death Eaters and they got cut up too. A few of them died on the spot from excesive blood loss. But that just meant there was more blood to clean up later. They all kept flying around like crazy and there was a fountain of blood coming from each and every one. The Great Hall started to fill up and now all of the people inside were swimming in at least 2 feet of blood red liquid. I called upon Johnny Test and Harry and we all kept shooting and stabbing the guys together, but they just kept bleeding everywhere and I was pretty sure that one guy from Hufflepuff had drowned in the blood. I tried to clean it up with a spell I shot with Malfoy's wand, but it just got worse and more chaotic. By now everything was wet and stained red.

Suddenly I felt a jolt. The limbless guy had pushed me off my broom! We both fell off and the brooms rocketed towards the wall and exploded, leaving scorch marks on the brick. We both fell and landed in the pool of Death Eater blood with a huge splash. It was so huge that blood hit the ceiling. By now it was 3 feet deep. Johnny and Harry were pulling other first years out of the blood because the shorter ones were drowning. The blood was also seeping through the doors and flooding the rest of the school. You could see all the people out in the hall breaking through the windows and trying to escape.

We wrestled for a while. The limbless guy chocked me and beat me with his head. He tore my robe off and pushed me down into the blood. I couldn't breathe! Johnny, Harry and Malfoy all tried to fight him off but Richard and his gang stopped them. I kept drowning. I was really scared, I didn't want to die! I screamed for help, but no one could hear me over the sound of all the gushing blood. The teachers and students were powerless against Richard, his gang, and the Death Eaters anyway. I knew it was the end for me.

Suddenly, a strange 11-year-old with cool sunglasses and huge muscles flew in on a rainbow-colored dragon. (JOEY: and no, Wiliam didnt mean that as a simbol of gaynes so shut ur mouths!) He shot the limbless guy with a magic AK-47 and he died instantly. I shot straight up out of the blood and looked at the strange muscular dude. He was shooting all the other Death Eaters and they all died. Then he broke through the roof and used his wand to create a message in the sky. I looked at it. "FUCK YOU VOLDEMORT!" it said. Finally the strange muscular dude jumped off his dragon and landed on the floor. I realized that he was immune to fall damage because he hadn't gotten hurt from a 50-foot drop.

"YO MY NAME IS ALEX!" he said.

ok that was Williams' part (thanks agan WIlliam!) I'm gonna take over from hear now.

Chapter 6- Joey's Half

I was so relived that I was alive. Me, Harry, Johnnny and Malfuy ivnited Alex to sit at our tabl. Dumblsdore and McGoneagall cleaned up all the blod and were able to revmove the stains using Magic Oxi Clean. it was just like regalar Oxi cClean except it was fur wisards. After that we had anoter feast and we all went to bed.

The Griffindore comon room was awsome! I even got a specal room with a giant 3dtv and everything. I feell asleep on my king size bed while i was watching Spongebob (my dad doesnt let me watch it at home becaus he says its' too violet and forces the gay Agenda.) Malfoy wake me up the next day.

"COme on Joey we have to go 2 clas." Malfoy said. So we went. We met harry and jhonny in calss. Our skedule said it was tim for Potions so we went to the dungen of the skool and waited for the Teacher to apperr. We managed to get a tabl at he very front of the room so i was actully able 2 see the balckbored for once. There was this kid stiting there alredy with stupid ugly 70s cloths and red hair. Then I realised who it was.

"OMG are yu Ron Wesley?" I asked. Ron Weasly said yes. He and Harry became instunt friends. I guess it furfilled one of the prophecies or something becacuse Ron got all sparkly for a minut and then sudenly Profesor Snape appeard.

"Welcome to- WTF why is ther a muggle kid in my clas?" Snape yelled. He was poniting at me. I started to cry becaus that rely hurt my feelings. Malfoy felt bad for me so he shit Proffesor Snampe with his wand. Then ALex went up and used his huge musles to punch Profesor Snape in the face. Snape screamed and got a nosebled from his broken nose. There was aslo blood coming out of his ears and it was realy wierd and gross. Then i had an idea.

I raided all the ptoion cabnets and dumped all the ingredents into my calldron. I stired it and it turned into acid posion. I saved some of it in a bottl for later. Then I grabbed the rest and filled up a computer case with it.

"HOW'S THIS FOR MUGGLE STUF?! THIS IS WAT YOU GET FOR HURTNIG MY FELINGS SNAEP!" I yelled. Then i threw the computer at him. The case explded and all the posion acid got all over professor snape. It melted all of his skin of and he sceamed and twisted on the grund crying.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Snape yelled as he died from the posin. THe acid part of the mix kept eating at his ded body until it was nohting but a skelly. Then the skepeton turned 2 dust.

People were silent for a whole. Then everyone started cheeing and congredulating me. Harry and Mafoy thrw confeetti and Alex and Johnny carried me to the Princinpal's office to show Dumbledire. I was so happy.

THANKS AGAIN TO WILLIAM 4 THE HELP! I hope you guys al enjoued. Next chapter comes tomorow!

JOEY


	7. Chapter 8

OK well Im kinda getting bored of writnig this every day so I might have to take a brake... if that happens then il'l just have William taek over and he alreaady has the pasword 2 my account and everything so don't worry about updates OK?

CHAPTER 7

We all went to DUmbledor's office and told him what happesnd. He gave me anouther metal. Then he made an anouncement to the rest of the skool.

"Good news everyon! Joey has defeted Profesor Snape!" Dumbledore yelled over the speker. "I am dismising class 4 the rest of the week to clebrate, OK?"

Everyone startde cheering again. Then dumblrdore told me a secret.

"I nevr liked Snap eanyway, i was planing to kill him ovre the sumer. Oh and by the way its not ilegal becuase he was a servunt of the DARK LORD." Dumlbedoor sed.

"OMG i'm glad he's ded now," I said. "Plus he was so meen 2 u hary."

"Yeah!" Harry said.

Anyway we all went and parted in the Graet hall fur 10 hours strayt. We made Richurds' gang listen to the RIckroll song for that entire 10 hours. It was the best first day of skool ever.

Once we were bord of that we went to go explor the skool for a while since we had been only been there 1 day and we wantd to now our ways aruond. We went to the movin starcases and wandered around for a long time. Malfoy acidentally went 2 the girls bathroom and we laugt at him. Then I rememberd something.

"Guys we hav to go to the 3rd flor!" I yelled sudenly.

"Why?" Hary said, looking confused.

"IT SAYS SO IN THE BIOK HARRY!" I yelled, pointng to my hardcovre copy of Hary Potter and the Socerer's Stone.

"Oh yeah so that means we hapve to fulfil that Propechy," ROn sad.

We headed there, but sudenly someone jumped in fromt of us and punchd Mafloy in the face. It was... RICHURD TEH SKOOL BULLY!

Sory that this chapter was so short. Anyway TO BE CONTINUED!

JOEY


	8. Chapter 9

OK just so eveyrone nows, this is gonna be the last chatper from me for a wile. William's gonna writ the next few chaptsers for me starting tomorow. ANyway I hope you al enjoy this one.

Chapter 8

Richyrd started screaming at Mafroy. It seemd like he was mad that malfoy abonded him.

"I told u, i'm not realy gay! Leave my firends alone!" Mafloy yelled.

"If you don't leave irght now, I'll bet you up!" Alex said in a reallly intimidaditng way.

"Yeah, and were holding ur gang histage too!" me, hary, ron wesley and johmny said.

Finally Richurd backed off. He tried to punhc me in the face on the way out thoogh, but I dodged jim. He was still really scray, but it felt god 2 have my freind's support. When i was 10 years old I had no firends and Richurd and his gang were free to buly me all the time. My mom and dad were ded too.

"I'll get you someday JOEY!" yelled richurd. Then he waved his wund and he disapeard.

"Serve you right you sign of a bitch! LEAFE JOEY ALONE!" Alex yeled as he dissapeared.

"Alright guys elt's go 2 the 3rd floor, " I said. We climbed up unto the rickedy staircase. Then it started to break and crumbl away underneth us! We all managd to jump onto the bannister in time but then the starcase broke of entirely and fel 50 storys below us. We were traped on the 3rd floor!

"Looks like we had no choice but 2 explore," Everyone sad. So we went thru the door. The janitur guy and his creepy cat was there. He yelled at us.

"GO AWAY YOU F*CKIN BASTURD FAGOTS I"M TRYUNG TO CLEEN THE FLOORS! WHy CAN"T U SEE THAT!" The janitor gy told us. Then he started hittin malfoy with his mop. I screamed and threw a mop buckset at him. it turned upsidedown in mid-air and drecnhed the jjanitor dude with dirty mop water. The warter also got all over the crepy cat and it mad that really high pithed anoying noice cats sometimes do in catroons and stuff. Then it died from shok. The janitor hguy looked at his cat's ded body and he sudenly got really, really mad.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU KILeD MY CAT WIFE! I"LL KILL YOU ALL!" he screeched.

"WTF your cat is ur wife?" I said. Well I tried to say that but the janitur dode cut me of when he takled me to the ground. "WHY DO U THINK IT FOLOWS ME AROUND!" He rmeinded me of someone but i couldnt' remember who.

"Oh there'is a wird for that!" Alex said helpfuly. "It's zoophily!"

I was disusted. We tied him up and thruw him down where the starcase had fallen. We did that with the cats' ded body to so nobody would find hte evedince. He fell for a wile and then when he bit the grund his guts expolded everywhere and he died. Then the lions cam to eat the guts of off the floor.

Anyway we went 2 the third flor and pushed open the dor to Cerburus's chamber. he growled in out faces. We steped back.

"Ok well in the buk it says that Snape pyt a magikal harp here to put Cerberis to sleep," I said. "But snape is ded now so i guess well just have to kill him ourselvs if we want 2 fulfill the propecy."

"But how do we do that?" Hary said. Then sudenly I had an idae.

I'm just gona let Willliam continu ethis. LOL. Anyway hell intruduce himslef and stuf tomorow! see u in a few days

JOEY


	9. IM BACK!

Hey everyone this is Joey again and im finaly back even thogh i forgut about my story for a yesr LOL! Aslo im 12 now! anyway i made a bunch of awsum chapters for u guys so you can expect to se thoxe real soon! bye!


	10. Chapter 10

I woke up the nect day in the hosptal. I culdnt remember anything. Then i saw the nirse next to me.

"What hapened?" i said.

"You went 2 the 3rd floor with Johnny and Harry and Alex and Malfoy, but Richurd and his gang had already broken into tge chamber. Then Richard killed Mr. Maldoy and cerberus ate Richard. then richards gang ko'd u out" said the nurse

"OMG!" i said. "So does that meen?"

"Yes Joey, Malfoy is dead" said Dumblrdor.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" I YELLED.

"Don't cry joey," said Dumblexode. "Itll be alright. here, take this time turner. You can go baxk in time and stop Richard from killing Malfoy, and you can fix the timeline so Hary fulfils the propesy."

"Ok principal dumbledote" i said. I was sad, but now i was determined to.

"Good luck Joey" he said. Then he ran away.


	11. Chapter 11 PART 1!

When i got beter, Dumbkedore sent me back to the Great Hall. He exseud all of us from calss that day so we could make a plan.

I sat down at the groffendor table. Hary, Alex, Ron wesley, and Johnny were there. We were all really sad abot mafoy being ded, but Harry knew ir was all part of da prrephy.

"Wat are you gonna do now joey?" sed Ron Wesley.

"Well Dumblddore saus i gotta go back in tim using this Time Terner so I can stop meichael and his gang from killing Malfoy. That way Harry can kill Malfiy later like it ssys in the profasy." I explained.

"But how far back will you hav to go?"

"Hmm..." I thought for a while. Then I had a idea. "How about... i go baxk to 3 years ago so i can stop Richard from turning gay?"

"That's a gret idea!" they all said. "Good luck Joey!"

So then i went back to Principial Dumbledors's orfice. I told him the plan.

"Good, Joey. Thete's just 1 mor thing i have to tell u before you go." said the pribxonal

"What's that?" i said.

"Say hello to ur dad in Hell for me!" He yelled. Then he riped all his cloths of and I scremed. It wasn't Dumbledore after all! It was... RICHURD! And he was holding a nife!

"I thohght Cerberus ate you!" i said.

"That doesnt matter now. I'm gonna kill you and then i'm gonna rap ur corpse!" said Richard.

Then richard's gang all burst in threw the walls and they hd stuff like badookas and rocket launxhers in ther hands and the tower collapasd all around us cause they had broken through every wall. i popped up out of the rubble and i screamed again for some1 to help mi. But tgat just alreted Ruchard to my location. I was really really really scared.

"GET AWAY FROM ME RIGT NOW YU FUJIKING FAGUT!" I screamed.

"No" he said. Then he strated running towards me! I screamed again and I ran way all the way to the brokmsticks field. I was so scared.

AN: Wow, that was a rush! see u all tomorow!


	12. Chapter 11 Part 2!

Hey eberybody, it's Joey again! Im sorry for not updating earlier, bjt my stupid basturd Dad grounded me agan and i culdn't use the computer. Anyway I worked really hard on this chapta so u better like it!

JOEY

I was hiding in the bleachrs at the broomstoks field. I could see Richird and his gang looking for me. I knew i didnt have much time. I took out my time tuerner and started spinning it as fast as i can.

Suddenly... someone grabbed me from behind and pulled me out from the bleachers! It was... RICHURD! AND HE WAS HOLDING A KINFE!

"There u are Joey! Tim to finish you off you stoopid bitch." said Richard.

Then richard raised his arm with the knife and eveything was going in slo mo and he was getting redy to atavk me. I screamed. I didn't want to die, but there was nothing i could do! Richurd had finally caught me.

Then richard stabbed me. Then I died.

~The End~


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